absconditus

things i have learned at college

- just because someone says they’re your friend doesn’t make it true.

-studying is a healthy habit.

-sleeping is not required to succeed.

-alcohol is the excuse for a weekend fuck up.

-dining hall food is not healthy

-you CAN get to an 8 o’ clock final after waking up at 7:53

-no matter what stall you go into, the dorm bathroom ALWAYS smells.

-people grow up and grow apart.

-don’t trust anyone further than you can throw them.

-just because we aren’t at high school anymore doesn’t mean we can’t act like it.

-frat parties are not the place to find your true love.

-dorm walls are as thin as paper; keep the sex down to a dull roar.

-don’t have sex with your roommate in the room. (not from experience!)

-only smoochie on the futon.

-peer pressure doesn’t stop. EVER.

-practicing is a welcome retreat.

-an hour and a half is a long way away.

-home is never permanent.

-sisters are family.

-teachers don’t care WHY you weren’t in class. they just care that you weren’t in class.

-absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.

-naps are part of a healthy sleep cycle.

-you don’t need to shower EVERY day.

-treating someone with respect does not mean they will give respect back.

-orchestra can suck your life force.

-you must be online 24/7.

-facebook is addictive.

-love doesn’t make you forget your problems. real love is worth the problems.

-having boobs at a frat party makes you hot. having boobs and being drunk at a frat party makes you hotter.

-drunk dancing is NOT sexy dancing, no matter what you might think.

-your pants are not tighter because of the shitty washer and dryer. it’s because of the shitty food.

-taco bell tastes best at 3 A.M. with alcohol in your system.

-you should be used to not having sex by now.

-no one cares about current events.

-the recital hall is possibly haunted. don’t go in there by yourself.

-now is the time to be selfish.

-studying is good. studying at 2 A.M. is not.

-just because everyone else does it, doesn’t mean you can.

-giving up isn’t healthy. or worth it.

-do your papers more than a day before they are due.

-they really aren’t your friends.

-laugh.

this still makes me smile.