beyond words.
i am impressed with my own ability to stay calm.
i asked him if he was joking when he said he was in love with me. pressed the issue. he’s not comfortable with it. he doesn’t want to say something preemptively. he doesn’t want to be tricked or goaded into anything.
fine. so, i laid it on the line. don’t know where i found the strength or courage to stand there and not let my voice break. told him i loved him and that it’d be nice if he’d eventually love me back.
he flipped. not yelling. sputtering. at a loss for words.
basically, i still don’t know where i stand. i must’ve have learned some strength recently to not fall apart.
i still can’t believe i even said it.
