absconditus

there comes a time in every relationship where you ask yourself….way too many questions?

is he worth this? it this real love? what happens now? does it have a future? why?

my entire relationship is so completely fucked up and i don’t even understand why. my boyfriend/non-boyfriend is so completely self consumed that he cannot think to share his life with another person. excuses upon excuses to NOT be in a relationship.

and my question is: is this relationship worth this constant questioning?

i am offering so much. someone to love and care for. someone to come home to. someone that supports you, no questions asked. a family. a future. a life.

is this made-up future i have so much faith in, even a possibility?

am i not enough for him? not enough of a reason to share his life with someone?

i am offering the world. my heart is on the table and it’s too late to pull it off.

the old saying goes that, when we get to the real(er) world, we have to grow up.  when did people stop growing up?

my roommate is one of the most passive aggressive, full of shit people i know. she can go from being sweet as pie one to day, to being a raging bitch and claiming not to be the next. refusing to acknowledge my greeting, refusing to issue her own. shutting herself up in her room and slamming kitchen cabinets. she shut my cat in my room for no good reason.

my question is: what the fuck is her problem and why doesn’t she grow the fuck up?

until she tells me she has a motherfucking problem, i am going to go on doing whatever the fuck i want to. i pay the bills. i will do whatever the hell i want in my home and my room. i will play with my cat, i will watch tv, i will cook, i will have sex with my boyfriend.

this is bullshit. grow up. we stopped the passive aggressive in high school.